A Brief History of Cogent American Political Discourse

Columbus: We have found India!
Indians: This is not India.
Columbus: We have found the Indians!

***

Indians: We saved your guy’s neck. 
Americans: Let’s do it again with King Philip!

***

Americans: We would love to do our own taxes.
Loyalists: We will happily accept a tax for that!

***

Burr: I don’t like that guy.
Hamilton: I don’t like that guy.
Both: Let’s shoot bullets at each other to solve it!

***

Americans: We elect Lincoln as president!
Confederates: We immediately create a different country!

***

Al Gore: I will keep my ideas in a lockbox.
George W. Bush: I call that strategery!

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